One day Denis Ivanovich

Coming out of the apartment, Denis Ivanovich looked longingly at the stairs, he sighed, vzgoromozdilsya on the railing and went down, gently sliding. According stupenskoy metric, the daily amount of stepping on the stage must not be greater than the number of steps themselves, and therefore had to slide down the banisters, as the top in any case, you have to walk.

Prior to joining Denis Ivanovich arrived on time and immediately got on the traditional morning rally. Following the standard slogans to increase productivity advance was made by Brigadier Michael Nikolaevich, and announced that today a special day. All the men immediately tensed, as in the past a special half- day team fired.

Nikolaevich stepped forward, paused, and said:.

- Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you. hyper - shovel! . On the one hand, it is a shovel bucket, and the other - bayonet!.

Nikolaevich raised his unprecedented digging device and began to talk about the many benefits that can be retrieved using the hyper- shovels, and the end of his speech said the main thing:.

-. Well, now we have a beautiful new metric for utilization lopatnogo mechanism on both sides.

Immediately distributed to all new hyper - shovel to dig a trench and sent. People quickly realized how unnecessary twist and turn a shovel blade into the usual (and beat another painful shoulder ) and started to work.

Set to work, Denis Ivanovich half an hour warm up and took off his jacket. The ground was frozen, it was difficult to dig, lumps of fragmented and dumped with a bayonet, a spade and bucket are not cutting into the cold, dense clay, but the process was.

Then came a voice from above:.

- Instill, Denis Ivanovich! .

Putting aside the spade, Denis Ivanovich rose from trenches and spent the next half hour in an interesting conversation with an unknown to him, but obviously a high-ranking person from somewhere in the trust, talking about the difficulties of digging and prospects of the plan for today. The man did a lot of notes in my notebook, thanks for your time, and Denis Ivanovich went down into the trench, and continued to dig.

After a while, Denis Ivanovich heard strange sounds: a loud double - chpok chpok, and then surprised his colleagues materok. He began to get out of the trenches to see that in the case, as it jumped Nikolaitch brigade and twice knocked him flat with a spade on the helmet, why Denis Ivanovich fell into the trench.

- Nikolaevich, what doest thou, then? .

Yes, you must work, work - waved Nikolayevich, noting something in a notebook - I have this metric is a double- check the wearing of helmets staff.

In the meantime, come lunch time. Lunch has never been easy, here at this time had to listen to the speech of another person either from the Trust, or the central board, which told how to deal with Senegalese cobras.

- If at the time of digging you run into a nest of cobras Senegal - told people from the trust, - That should catch a cutting spade in his right hand and strike slashing motion, aimed at a point between the head and neck.

He deftly demonstrated how to handle a shovel, and two showed a video about the Senegalese cobras, their habits, and a couple of terrible cases, what happens after the bite.

The men chewed silently, nodding in the late afternoon signed a paper that received training to fight cobras Senegalese.

After dinner, it became clear that the hyper- hyped, and shovels are all separate bucket and bayonet alone, making the metric by double digging flies to hell. Nikolaevich tried to show by example how to dig a bruised shoulder, and was disappointed to say that migrant workers can not work.

The men got out of the trenches, smoked and yet figured out how to solve the problem with the metric for utilization of spades: it was fastened on his back every single shovel, for example, soviet, and he dug a bayonet. If necessary, shovels changed places - was a top bayonet, and used bucket. And as the utilization of spades was measured by the inspection of the Trust on sticking out of the trench lopatnym blades, then it went smoothly. Digging, however, it became more difficult.

Toward the end of the day went to Denis Nikolaevich Ivanovich and anxiously said:.
- Listen, Denisovich, you have something wrong with the metric on the toilet paper. Consumption exceeded 2. 5 yards instead of 2.
Denis Ivanovich of surprise and villages:.
- Have mercy God Nikolayevich! .
Nikolaevich glanced with evident surprise and said:.
- Well, remember, you pick up an order for toilet paper? .
Wow - turn - Denis Ivanovich clapped eyes - And what can I do with overspending? .
- And do I know? . Well, work the awareness out there, talk to the peasants, so that there is not very.
Nikolaitch left, and Denis Ivanovich stood at the edge of the trench with 2 spades. Protruding from his pocket a folded into a tube Certificate of Completion to fight cobras.

Tired Denis Ivanovich returned home late at night. My wife was asleep. Sprawled on the bed and falling asleep, Denis Ivanovich with a smile, thinking that the current metric for the penetration of partners he made yesterday, and was very green at least on this indicator.